Movies based on Space Invaders and Asteroids may soon be assaulting our multiplex screens. For God's sake why?
For the past decade Hollywood has very much enjoyed raiding our eighties childhoods, scrabbling about for marketable franchises and then emerging a year or so later with some nostalgia-packed summer flick of almost morbid uselessness. They have covered TV via the risible Dukes of Hazzard, A-Team and Charlie's Angels films, and they have scorched through toys via GI Joe and Michael Bay's Transformers, not to mention the forthcoming Cabbage Patch Kids and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles re-visits. Now they are turning their jaded sadistic eyes to early eighties arcade games.
Recently, the Hollywood Reporter revealed that producers Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Gigi Pritzker have 'optioned the rights' (Hollywood parlance for, 'found some cash and proffered it at some bemused but delighted rights holders') to coin-op classic Space Invaders. Released in 1978 this early shooter pitted the player against waves of iconic alien craft; it became the most successful arcade game of the era and its huge popularity was widely credited with causing a coin shortage in Japan.
But none of this adequately explains how on Earth this simple game will inspire a 90 minute movie. Not that the producers are letting such a minor point get in the way of the idea. Indeed, it turns out this is all in a day's work for di Bonaventura. The eighties-loving exec also produced the GI Joe and Transformers movies and is overseeing the development of a film based on monochrome space shooter, Asteroids ? bought by Universal way back in 2009 (after, would you believe it, a bidding war with three other studios).
"With Space Invaders, the producers are facing an interesting challenge," the Hollywood reporter tactfully puts it. "The video game doesn't have a built-in mythology, so on one hand a film won't risk offending game fans. Conversely, coming up with a captivating universe, especially for video game adaptations, is no easy task."
They're right. Translating games into movies is hard enough when the source material does come with a cogent story and recognisable characters ? just look at what they did to Super Mario Bros, Street Fighter, Silent Hill and Hitman (on second thoughts ? don't. Ever. Look. At. Them). Space Invaders has no plot and no lead role; the aliens are constructed out of barely animated sprites, which won't give modern special effects experts much to work with. Sure, the sound effects are iconic, but that's not going to see us much beyond the title sequence.
Apparently, the game's designer Tomohiro Nishikado was influenced by Star Wars and War of the Worlds, so that does at least provide a useful starting point for any writers unlucky enough to be placed on the project. Sadly, what we can probably expect, is another Skyline or Battlefield Los Angeles, just with blockier aliens, who slowly advance towards Earth in a predictable rectangular formation. It doesn't really matter, of course, because marketing, nostalgia and plenty of cool retro merchandise will ensure a healthy opening box-office, which should probably be enough to turn a profit and fund the next landgrab on seventies and eighties brands. Hollywood, you are mad.
Four early '80s coin-ops that would make 'great' movies
As the movie industry is clearly struggling here, I've provided four more early eighties arcade classics ripe for movie conversion. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments section!
Centipede (1980, Atari)
A beleaguered smallholder finds his best efforts to cultivate an organic mushroom crop thwarted by a monstrous arthropod. Driven to the very limits of sanity, he attacks the beast with a laser gun. Possibly to be directed by Judd Apatow in the style of classic man vs nature comedy, Caddy Shack.
Frogger (Konami, 1981)
John Lasseter directs this magical story of an amphibian hero who just wants to find his way home. Thrill as he dodges busy traffic in the exciting freeway sequence; become confused as he loses a life for drowning in the river, despite belonging to a species that practises cutaneous respiration; leave the cinema when it becomes clear that the film re-starts the moment you eventually make it to the other side...
Moon Patrol (Irem, 1982)
On the dramatic lunar surface, many miles from Earth, a Nasa research team comes under attack from a deadly alien force. Their only hope of escape is an incredibly slow moon buggy, fitted with what appears to be a roof-mounted pea-shooter. Vin Diesel stars as a top science driver who has come out of retirement to pilot one last buggy mission. Can he outrun the extraterrestrial menace while also hitting the jump button to avoid deadly moon holes? Paul WS Andrerson to direct.
Paperboy (Atari, 1984)
'Delivering' fast-paced excitement and 'first class' entertainment, this nostalgic movie will remind film-goers what life was like when work meant clambering on to a BMX bike and throwing newspapers straight through the windows of badly drawn houses. And if runaway lawnmowers and savage dogs aren't enough to contend with, our novice paperboy hero (I'm thinking Justin Bieber, naturally) must prepare for a confrontation with the Grim Reaper himself! Something to do with a dead letter office? We'll patch those details in later.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/2011/jul/12/space-invaders-movie
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